he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
