did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
