Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
