No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
i think im in europe. pls send help
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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