we're blogging at a bar
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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