My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
