Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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