I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
