yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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