can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
