I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
