Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
My first STD was from a foam party
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
