Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Even the bartender felt bad for me
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Send help, water and tortillas.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
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