Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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