butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
