Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
