is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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