i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
