you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
