you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
