My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
