4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Randomize
