So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
