i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
