id be glad to
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
