But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
