You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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