Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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