wrigley field is MILF paradise
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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