He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
