omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I'm too high and old for this...
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
