I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
