Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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