So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
