At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
