she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
