Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
