Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
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