it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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