If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
