i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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