You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
