I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
