Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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