is your mom at the bar?
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Randomize
