Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
