Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Randomize
