She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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