omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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