Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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