So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
