Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
