seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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